16 - Interlude: Should You Tell Them? Or Should I?
Here you are, tonight you die in the same place you were born.
You look so beautiful in your all white.
The irony baby girl, does nothing to heal my broken heart.
You see it only seems like yesterday when your mother dropped you off at my doorstep.
Never have I loved a woman so much who didn't love me back, still like the fool that I am I took you in and raised you as my own dear daughter.
Day after day the joy you instilled joy in me, the way your golden skin glowed in the light, the way your perfectly curled hair would flow every time you jumped into my arms, and the way your hazel eyes looked at me like the way I wish your mother would, all of that kept me from hating the world out of a broken heart.
You alone mended my heart, and everyone that you encountered felt the way I did. Everyday someone would ask you, "Where do you get all of your joy from young lady?" and you would always reply, "Daddy, should you tell them, or should I?"
My beautiful baby girl, you give joy, that is your gift. Even in your passing, you don't let death overcome your joy. Your childlike wonder makes even the most dedicated nonbeliever believe in something, even if it's only in you. You see, because even as your father, I worship the ground you walk on, because you, you are my life.
Tonight, my life will end. There is not another beginning, there will be no doors that will open after this, this is it, you will leave me and I believe you will go on to someplace much better than where I will continue to reside. All I will have are our memories of seven short years.
So as I sit, with tears running down my face and as the anger, hate, and sadness you suppressed for all of these years begin to claw at my throat and devour my heart, I can see in your beautiful eyes your life leaving you and my love leaving me.
Still for some reason, as you leave, so does all the hate, all the darkness, all of the sadness, wrath, and fear. Because I have you in my memories and in m heart.
As I shed more tears in one moment than I have in my entire lifetime I can't help but smile at the memories you've created for me.
The doctor approaches me, and asks, "Young man, in this moment, where do you find your joy?"
Naturally, I look to you and ask, "Baby girl, should you tell him or should I?"